New Hope for Alcoholics Put Off by the God Stuff in AA

Alcoholics Anonymous has a lot of talk about God in its 12 steps and eponymous handbook known as the Big Book. But there was no god involved in the creation of the AA program. The whole concept was built on helping each other. Bill W helped Dr Bob to get sober and then they both tried to help other drunks, but had little early success. Nevertheless the point was that in helping each other, and the joint attempt to help others, they stayed sober themselves.

A great agnostic Albert Einstein said: "To help each other. That is the answer to the question 'Why are we here'."

To AA's credit it is adamant that its program is non-religious, but that doesn't stop US Christians hijacking its meetings. It is such a pity that this puts off many prospects for AA membership who would otherwise have been helped to sober up. That is why AA meetings are there, so that members can help each other get sober - not as a platform for the ravings of religious nuts. But little is done to stop them because they can hide behind the idea that god is their greater power and helps to keep them off the bottle.

It seems that god crept into the equation because it was simply an idea woven so strongly into the social fabric of the USA that good clear thinkers were powerless against the thundering herd of muddled religious believers.

The idea that religious members can rely on a god as their greater power to guide them through the program is actually extremely dangerous. Believing that god will do the work for them, they may fail to do sufficient work in the program themselves to become contented, useful human beings. The crutch they believe in is entirely illusory.

Things are gradually changing. There are AAAA groups (Atheist and Agnostic Alcoholics Anonymous), freethinkers' groups and an increasing catalogue of non-AA-approved literature supporting these ideas.

The slogan of a freethinker in this regard is: "You have to do it yourself, but you don't have to do it alone." There are other AA members walking purposefully along the same path.

The USA's Christian majority holds such sway that for years one of the unofficial slogans in AA has been "Fake it to make it." This is an idea that if you're not sure whether there's a god to use as a greater power you can pretend there's one and complete the twelve steps successfully to stop drinking.

But this rather knocks on the head the idea of the AA program as honest, whereas rigorous honesty is advised. Therefore it would clearly be better for the fakers if they admitted they were unsure about god and called themselves agnostics. There are plenty of alternative greater powers they could pick such as energy, nature, the poetry of evolution...

All that one atheist twelve step program requires is that members choose a greater power that is big. Size is everything to help members realise how tiny they are in the scheme of things to help them downsize their overinflated egos. Other examples are a tree that a park-dwelling former drunk used to tell his troubles to and a Number Nine bus because it passed by the Coach & Horses pub which another member never could.

This program is the subject of Vince Hawkins new book: An Atheists Unofficial Guide to AA available on http://www.Amazon.com

Vince Hawkins is the author of An Atheists Unofficial Guide to AA and An Atheists Twelve Steps to Self-improvement - To Accompany Any Program.
They are both featured on http://www.vincehawkins.com/
The idea of them is to widen the net to catch more people who can benefit from 12 Step programs. Each seeks to extend the catch to people who have trouble with the god stuff contained in the AA steps and the second one extends the net to non-addicts who seek help with bad behaviour.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vince_Hawkins

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Effects of Alcoholism on Partners of Alcoholics

Many alcoholics are so-called functioning alcoholics, holding down jobs and functioning in a 'normal' family situation with a partner and/or children. The effects of alcoholism on those sharing a home with alcoholics is rarely discussed. The stigmatization of society creates an atmosphere of shame and isolation. The Alcoholic, in moments of despair and in need of venting their frustration often project their feelings about themselves onto their partners, leaving the latter in a state of confusion leading to a lack of self-esteem and wondering whether it is all their fault.

There seems to be no logic in and/or explanation for the transformation of the alcoholic from a kind, loving and caring partner into an insulting, bullying aggressor. Partners are made to feel worthless and inadequate and want to do everything to make things right, turning into carers and organizers, and more often than not, deny the awful truth in order to keep up the façade of a happy family.

But are they right to do so? Have they unwittingly become the enabler for the alcoholic? Alcoholics frequently feel attracted to very caring people who in their turn seem to attract people in need of help. The basis is shaky but looking through the glasses of love, things might not be that clear. Having fallen in love with the soft side of the often sensitive, intelligent alcoholic, the partner feels unable to break up a relationship that has, no doubt, many wonderful, happy and special moments. It becomes easy to forgive and forget but the problem, unless recognized and help sought, goes from bad to worse.

The dark moments creep in and become more frequent. The apologies fade away into a difficult reality where moments of being sorry are quickly replaced by moments of projection and anger. The partner unknowingly and unwittingly becomes an enabler by trying to mend, excuse and heal the situation.

Pleading with reason, with tears, threats and ultimatums that are impossible to stick to, only makes matters worse, aggravating the alcoholic and turning their short fuse into a ticking time bomb. Partners, having to tread on eggshells so as not to say or do the wrong thing, try to avoid discussions and situations of anger, feel increasingly isolated and misunderstood. The ill alcoholic seems to have a need for conflict, apparently looking for a reason to start the drinking session or to continue their drinking spree. There is no logic and arguments can start over trivial matters. Words are interpreted incorrectly and taken totally out of context and proportion; translated into an unwanted situation of mothering and smothering.

Partners are forced to be cruel to be kind with achievable ultimatums as the only way to remain sane and to give the alcoholic an option to reach so-called rock bottom. The latter the only hope to find a way out of a disease so widely misunderstood and for the partner to find a way out of the effects of alcoholism on their lives by seeking help for themselves.

Dutch born author and artist Renate van Nijen has herself experienced the complexity of living with an alcohol-addicted partner. The secrecy surrounding alcoholism in society as a whole and the non-acceptance and judgemental comments from family, friends and outsiders that she experienced have driven her to write about the subject of alcoholism and alcohol abuse from an holistic approach. Renate invites you to visit her website where you will find a wealth of helpful information. http://www.renartsbookworld.com/

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